The first of many

After 19 straight days with at least one other adult in the house, today was my first day at home all day alone with the kids. (All day meaning that Jeremy has been gone from 5:00am and still isn't home at 8:30pm. It reminds me of Korea!) To be honest, it was hard to wake up this morning and face a day of no scheduled time with someone else or to have someone in my house. I know this caused me a lot of problems in the winter last year, and I could already feel some of those same emotions starting to creep in today. I'm not a "people person" in that I need to be around people all of the time, but I'm not introverted enough to be able to go days without adult interaction (apart from Jeremy). Even though I know this about myself, somehow it is still challenging to me to reach out and make those connections happen with people. I'm not sure why. I've realized that this is the first time in my life that I have had to make connections with people happen. Of course, I didn't have to do this while in school or college. I didn't have to do this when working in Boston or Great Falls. I didn't even have to do this at the beginning of my mothering journey in Korea--we all lived together in what was really just glorified married dorm buildings, so community and connection was easy. Because I've never had to do it, it seems like it should all be so very simple--call someone and then get together. Somehow I just make it more complicated than that. Or the busy lives of the people around me make the coordinating harder. I'm not sure.

I have decided to do a very hard thing for me and attend the MOPS group that was a challenge for me in the fall of last year. I've determined that I won't get to the same level of emotional neediness as before. I went last week, and the ladies in my group are actually my age with kids my age, quite an improvement from last year! Plus, one gal is a CE spouse whose husband is on a one year remote to Iraq. We had an instant connection because of the CE world (it's always nice when someone knows what your husband does without having to explain it!). There are still parts of me that really miss being a military spouse. We'll see what happens!

(Aren't these the cutest pictures? Taken when Levi was 11 days old.)

Irony or tragedy?

I had been dreading the day that mom would fly back to NC. It would mark the end of my full-time help and beginning of my new life as a mom of three. Then Jeremy found out that he would have to work a bazillion hours on Sat - Friday. Joy, joy. Ok, I can handle this, I said to myself. Jeremy can't help his work schedule, he actually gets paid overtime, and I'm not working right now--I can do this. And then three hours after I dropped mom off at the airport, I got sick. Throwing up sick. So sick I was crying while sitting on the couch. Jeremy couldn't come home and couldn't take sick leave this week, so I had to do the unthinkable--ask for help. Dear, sweet Alisha came over in less than ten minutes and took the kids away (the big kids) so that I could be sick without them in the bathroom. They came home right at bedtime, just as Jeremy was walking through the door. And dear, sweet Courtney came over for four hours this morning to take care of them while I laid in bed. And dear, sweet Summer may be coming over to help me until bedtime again.

Why is it so hard to ask for help? Even though we would love to help others, we don't know how to help them unless they ask. There are people in all of our lives who want to help us, but we fight it--we think we can handle it. Our pride prevents people from blessing us and prevents them in sharing the blessing of serving us. I had to reach the point where I knew my kids would not be taken care of unless I got help. Maybe it won't take such circumstances for me to reach out the next time.

Wow. I'm the mother of three.

Pictures!

I actually had some time to get pictures downloaded. I hope you enjoy them! I'm LOVING having my mom here, and I'm trying not to think about what will happen next week when I'm by myself for five days! :)

Prayer request

We just found out today that Rod Rodriguez, Jeremy's sponsor in Korea and the guy that Jeremy took over for at Osan, was killed in a the Marriot hotel bombing in Pakistan. You can read the article here, which even mentions Rod's name. As far as I know, Rod and his wife Caryn were stationed in Germany at the time of his deployment to Pakistan. Although we only crossed paths with the Rodriguez family for two weeks in Korea, they were both extremely helpful to us in our move. They do not have any children, but have been married for more than eight years. Please keep Caryn in your prayers.

better for me than for Jeremy...

My time with Jeremy at home is coming to a close. He has done a great job taking care of the kids and "Running the Rhodes" for me. I've not had as much sleep as I had wanted to take advantage of during this time, but I suppose that was to be expected. Jeremy has had his fair share of problems this week, however. He wanted to increase the memory on the computer and what he had anticipated taking an evening of his time took 3.5 days. And then the downstairs toilet has decided to backup and have problems. Again. And my mom will be here tomorrow. Convenient, huh? It was just two months ago that we paid over $200 to have the drain snaked. Now it looks like we get to do it again. (And I wonder sometimes why I have a job...)

My week has been pretty tame apart from a crazy night last night. I must have been an alergic reaction to something (I have no idea what) and ended up with hives and itching and a terrible headache that shot pain through the roof of my mouth. Thankfully, all of that was gone by around 10am this morning.

Levi is doing great. He is taking to his schedule VERY well, and has had a four hour sleep stretch at night since day #3. Now to just get some fat on those wee little bones to stretch that out to six hours...the bigs love him almost too much. Especially his sister. It's been quite the week of establishing boundaries. I'm still very thrilled to not be pregnant anymore. I like dropping 8 inches from my waist in one week! HA! Just 9 more to go! :)

My mom will be flying into town tomorrow. The kids still don't know she is coming. As long as they are obedient and actually go to sleep during their nap (something Hannah struggles with these days!) they will wake up tomorrow afternoon to Grandma being here! YEAY!! It was such a fun thing to talk to my mom on the phone today and have her say "I'll see you tomorrow!" That conversation only happens once or twice a year, so I savor it when it does!

Because of the computer whoas, I don't have pictures downloaded. I'm made it a little goal to take one good picture of Levi a day. I don't have quite the assortment of poses and such that I did with the other kiddos, but I'll have enough for a good scrapbook. One day.

Off to bed...

Here he is!

I sent out an email to a lot of people, and for those who didn't get it, I've included it below. We are transitioning well. It is VERY nice to have daddy at home with us! He has all next week off as well, and then my mom will be flying to Great Falls for an eight day stay. We are having Levi dedicated while she is here, which will be the first time any of our family has been at a dedication of one of our children. And in total, I'll have two and a half weeks of help--almost as much as my help with Hannah and Benjamin put together! I'm SO GRATEFUL!

It feels so good to have my little man home. (In addition to it being so good to not be pregnant!!) Jeremy & I are still in the "I can't believe we had a baby!" stage. We are a family of FIVE! That's as many children as my parents had and Jeremy's parents had put together!

For those interested parties, here are more pictures!

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Yes, Levi Daniel was born on September 11th (his due date) at 11:56am. He weighed 7lbs 10oz and was 20 inches long. Contractions started at 4:00am at five minutes apart. Our babysitter came at 8am and Jeremy & I started walking around the neighborhood. It was a beautiful and quiet morning, and we actually enjoyed the walk together. The contractions stayed consistent until around 9:30 when they increased in length and decreased in time apart. We walked around until 10:30am, made the quick trip to the hospital and was admitted at 10:40am. I was already 7cm dialated! The nurses were awesome and let me walk around my labor room and do whatever was comfortable. My water didn't break until 11:40, but as soon as it did I had the urge to push. Thankfully, the doctor had arrived at the hospital about five minutes before that! They helped me into the bed, the doctor came into the room and asked some questions (she hadn't finished reading my chart!) and he was born 16 minutes later.

Things were really slow at the hospital, so we had our own room with a private bathroom. It was great! They cleared us to leave after 24 hours and gave us the choice to stay for the full two days. We decided to take advantage of the babysitters and the hospital food (it was actually good), and left around 5:30pm on the 12th. We were able to spend a little time with the kiddos before they went to bed and then slept in our own beds last night.

I'm healing faster than I could possible dream. This was by far the easiest labor and delivery. Levi is nursing well, sleeping well, and handling his siblings as much as a two day old can!

finally

After living in the US for 14 months, I've finally changed my blog to show that I'm in the Mountain Time Zone and not Seoul time zone. Such a little thing that makes me feel better.

Good enough to repeat

I know this is kind of old-hat kind of encouragement, but I thought I would pass it along nonetheless. D-day is 3 days away. I was ready last week :) I just can't wait to meet the little guy!

"Motherhood is hard. It takes resources, strength, time and commitment I never thought I could summon. And then, when I’ve lost it and just can’t take another whine, another “Mom, can you …,” I remind myself that motherhood is my job right now. I am a mom. While I hold many subtitles: personal shopper, dietician, chef, maid, chauffeur; first and foremost, I am a mom. And I am proud to be a mom. Sometimes I have to say it out loud, “this is my job!” When I embrace the fact that motherhood requires my involvement – that I cannot parent from the couch or the computer chair – I am much better at it. Then I fold the laundry and put it away without issue. I make a shopping list and plan meals with diligence. I take the time to read books aloud. I submerge myself into the catching of fireflies and overflowing bathtubs and truly enjoy my job. I am a mom! It’s important work."

Entertaining

I must admit, I'm a Republican. I know. You are shocked. I think I'm socially Republican and have some Democratic economic stances. However, I'm still a Republican (social issues outweigh taxes!). Jeremy & I have been very interested in the presidential race since the VERY exciting primary season. And our adult awareness of the media bias absolutely makes me sick. Obama is like a god to the media. Quite frankly, I'm tired of it. So, the ability to listen to Rudy Guilani bash Obama and his campaign so freely on public television made me laugh. Laugh outloud and from my [big] belly. It was like a sweet nectar of journalistic freedom that I haven't tasted in, um, well in my lifetime. And then comes Sarah Palin, a woman who prompts me to prayer everytime I think of her and her press-battered family. What a night! It was almost delicious to watch. I'm so glad I wasn't in labor. I would have missed it!

Still growing...

Those who know me best know that khakis and a black shirt (in whatever form and combination--shortsleeve, long sleeve, pants, shorts, skirts) is my favorite "outfit." It is not unrealistic to see that I have multiple black maternity shirts! The top picture is at 21 weeks in a size small. The bottom picture is at 38 weeks in a size large! :) The greatest part is that it is the same pair of pants! YEAY! I still don't know the total weight gain--I am waiting until I go into labor to step on the scale. I'm hoping I kept this pregnancy at 45 lbs--my smallest weight gain for any of the pregnancies. Instead of dreaming of a white Christmas, I'm dreaming of wearing my old clothes again...

Got courage?

You can't be a mom without a little courage. I mean, it takes some courage to paint with a three year old. Or to let your 19 month old climb the ladder of the swingset by himself. Or, for that matter, to go through labor! Ha ha ha! Soon, very soon. Everyday we get closer to another completed pregnancy. How wonderful!