the new picture

For those who have noticed that the family picture is out of date I will let you know that I have TRIED to get it changed but blogger has been less than cooperative. I'll get to it soon--along with details of D-day (delivery day!)

I'm LOVING it!

Yes, it was my first day on the job. And I had the help of a very sexy assistant (thankfully, he wasn't in an evening gown!). And we didn't try to DO anything. And Hannah was fairly pleasant and we all had great naps and no one was sick. But, as I'm sitting down to dinner--a pizza a friend ordered--I just looked at Jeremy said said "I like being the mother of two better than the mother of one."

It's good to know this in my heart now. Because the day is coming (next Tuesday, in fact) where I will be a "single mother with an income" again. (This is what we Osan moms call ourselves because our husbands leave before the kids wake up and come home after they go to bed...) And Hannah won't always be pleasant. And Benjamin won't always be pleasant. And I won't always get a good nap. And many times I will end the day crying because it was so rough and I don't know when it will end.

BUT when I have those days I'll remember tonight and remember the truth of my heart that I love being the mother of my two little wonders.

God is good!

He's here! He's here!

Yep, Benjamin decided to join the family on Friday, January 26th without the inital assistance of Dr. Kim. (Although, Dr. Kim was very helpful when it came time to deliver!) The labor was shorter than with Hannah but the contractions were SO much more intense. It almost makes me scared for #3...

We are now at home and beginning the process of learning who our new family is. Hannah came home from the White's house very easily until about 6pm. Then she started throwing fits and crying about everything. It doesn't help that she is cutting her two year molars right now. (Have I mentioned that she isn't 18 months old yet??) So, please be in prayer that we will have wisdom in how to help her transition into our new life and for her mouth to feel better!

Off to fight off engorgement...

blessed to tears

It doesn't always take a lot to bless a person. Most of the time you don't really know you did it unless the person tells you. I have many dear, dear friends that I rarely get to email or whom rarely get to email me. But when they do my little heart skips a beat and I get thrilled, just like the days when the only time you heard from someone was through the mail (it's hard to remember those days...), and a precious letter was waiting in the mailbox!

Today's blessing--my girlfriend signed her email to me "I love you until men make sense." I know to some of you it may seem wacky that this little line makes me almost want to cry, but here are a few reasons why. The obvious--She'll love me forever. When will a man make sense? :) Second--she is so comfortable in our friendship that she knows that I know that she is in no way is slamming her husband. Third--I can hear her say it and it makes me miss her desperately and wish I could sweep her away for a three hour conversation over Starbucks lattes.

One of the blessings of Heaven is knowing that we can always have a three hour conversation with our girlfriend over coffee. I can't wait!

ps--For those of you who are checking my blog everyday to see if I've had Benjamin, just I did for weeks with Susie, Amber, and Katie's blogs, I guess you can tell that he is still very happy to be carried around on the inside :) Today's his due date, so he has a chance to be punctual...does he have his mother's personality?? he he he :)

Lost in Translation

The problem with electronic forms of communication (emails, blogs, websites in general) is that dry humor and sarcasm rarely come across as such. So, to calm the hearts and minds of my faithful reading friends, I'm posting this blog....

Truly, I'm not a huge stress ball who walks around rubbing my stomach and chanting prayers. And the q-tip thing was a humorous "why not try it" thing that only happened Saturday evening. And I truly am in so much back pain that taking some baby steps (he he he) toward induction is something I desire. (I'm tired of laying on my bed crying in pain every night...). I'm not freaked out that I'm going to give birth on the side of the road (although, from the pragmatic side of me, I did get instructions on what to do and what to have to have a safe birth), and I know that I"m not terminally pregnant. (I'm still two weeks away from when Hannah was born!) While I desire to meet my son, start getting my body back, sleep with my husband again (it's been over two weeks!), and be able to walk without wincing, I know that this a short time in my earthly existance that will result in the birth of a little boy, even it he is way young when Jeremy has to fly to the states!

So, rest well, my friends, knowing that I truly am not going crazy on my side of the computer. But don't stop praying, either :)

To go or not to go

That is the question. I had an appointment yesterday afternoon and by the time I saw the doctor at 3pm my back was in so much pain I was crying in the examination room. (Note: I don't cry often.) The doctor looked at me and basically said "If you want progestrogen gel to get things going, let's do it--there is no need to be in pain like this so close to your due date." I was all for it--I've even thought about scheduling a c-section to get this kid out because my back has hurt so badly. Obviously, I haven't pursued such drastic measures yet. But I did schedule to have the gel on Wednesday.

What should be so simple is really so complicated here in Korea. In order to get the gel, I really need to have a place to stay at Youngsan in case the gel works. Which means paying $70/night. What do I do with Hannah? My friend said Hannah could stay with her--but what if I go up there and DON'T go into labor after the gel? And then we found out it is suppose to snow this weekend. Korea + snow + weekend traffic = not a good time to go into labor. Of course I could go into labor immediately after getting the gel, but if not, then I come home for two days and go back for the weekend??

So, as of this writing, we are planning to go up to Seoul on Friday, get some gel, pray that it works, and spend the weekend there. The only thing we haven't figured out is what to do with Hannah. If it works, it's not a big deal to go up there by ourselves. We would be doing that anyway. But if not, we could be there for five or six DAYS with her at Osan. Not my (or my friend's) idea of an ideal situation.

Why does Benjamin want to create such drama before his entrance into the world? This little 8lb wonder could make all of this SO much easier if he decided to come into the world BEFORE Friday.

There's still time. Time for prayer and fasting, weeping and wailing and ashes on my head. "God make this baby come before the weekend!"

Push the labor button

I just went to the chiropractor and he gave me a chart of pressure points in the ear. One is for...you guessed it...the uterus. He told me to press this point in both ears at the same time with a q-tip once an hour for 20 seconds. I tried it in the office. I had a contraction. Now, if this were a psychological phenomenon, I would have psychologically had this child by now. It could have been a response to the adjustment I had rather than the pressure point work. We'll see :)

However, this is a game of Russian roulet. There is a chance it may not work. But there is a chance that it WILL work, and as I'm typing this blog, it is Saturday morning in Korea. Traffic to the hospital is a good three hours on Saturdays until about 9pm. I basically can't really start trying this out at full force until tonight. The cool thing? If it DOES work and I have Benjamin tomorrow, he will be born on my grandparent's 52nd wedding anniversary! :)

Always look for the silver lining.

More updates?

I feel like I'm living in a land with no time. I get up, try to function, and then try to get back to bed as soon as possible. I dont' remember the last time I had such low levels of energy. I was more fatigued in a general sense (especially mentally) during tax season than I am right now, but just the thought of being awake and functioning with Hannah awake and functioning makes me tired.

Yesterday Benjamin found my sciatic nerve. Not just found it--he is cuddled up on top of it as though it is his best friend. I now can't walk, can't pick up Hannah, can't hold Hannah, and can't do much of anything on my feet for any length of time. The beginning of pregnancy with Hannah was hard--I was sick most of the day for almost two months. But after that I hardly noticed I was pregnancy. This pregnancy has been so opposite. I barely knew I was pregnant until this month, and now it is hard to imagine being pregnant more than one more time!

It will end soon. And in God's timing. I try to convince myself of that daily :)

Updates from the land of Pregnancy

Only 10 more days until my due date. Not that I'm being impatient--I am feeling better now than I was a couple of weeks ago. But I've realized that if I tell myself that I'm not going into labor for another two weeks, I'll come with two weeks of "work" to do. So I allow myself to be in the "it could happen any day now" frame of mind. It is such a different experience to stay at home until I go into labor. (For those who don't remember, I stayed on base in Seoul for two weeks prior to Hannah's birth.) I get to pretend I'm "normal" until I go into labor. I'm LOVING it.

The unusual issue right now...I'll be tired and go to bed at night and then can't get to sleep for over an hour. Not that I'm uncomfortable, but I just can't get to sleep. Heaven help me if I wake up again in the middle of the night--the hour wait until I get back to sleep starts all over again.

So as the Psalmist would say, I'm waiting with expectation :)

Very interesting, honey...

Jeremy & I were driving home from my 38 week appointment (everything looks good and normal, by the way). We started talking about kids riding the school bus. It freaks me out to imagine sending little five year old sweet Hannah Grace off to school on a bus. To which Jeremy replies "Yeah, school buses are no good. They are like bars for little kids. Kids tell dirty jokes and they get into fights."

So there you have it. School buses are like mobile kid bars.

Perspective

There are days when Satan hits me with the "you aren't doing much to advance the Kingdom of God--you are just running your house, taking care of your husband and your kid(s)." It is so easy to put that four letter word "just" in there. Until I realize (and not always soon enough!) that having a home with a committed, happy, growing marriage (of a man and woman) is RARE these days--so rare that most people don't think it can happen. And to have happy, responsible, polite children is just as rare!

And how do these things happen? By the grace of God and the hard work of the "heart of the home"--the wife/mother. Not to say that the work of the husband is not important. If it wasn't for Jeremy, I couldn't be the wife/mother that I am! But God created women to be the heartbeat of the home and when we don't value that role in our homes, we become blinded to how the functioning of that role advances the Kingdom! No wonder we get discouraged...satan doesn't want us to realize the power that happens when we just "live life." Maybe this is why Paul says that older women are to teach the younger women to be busy at home. Maybe even in Paul's day women didn't want to "just" be busy at home.

Rude Awakenings

(This picture has nothing to do with my blog. But, she sure is cute!)

This post will illicit much sympathy from my fellow Osaners...

After an hour of toss and turning, I got five hours of sleep, another hour of tossing and turning and finally asleep again at 5am. At 6am the base alarm went off. It was so long that I dreamed about the sound, then I halfway thought "Oh, the alarm is going off. Another unannounced exercise" and then my thoughts shifted to "It has never been this long...I wonder what is going on...they didn't say "exercise" at the end of the alarm...I wonder what is going on!"

I laid in bed thinking about being 37 weeks pregnant and having to NEO evacuate with Hannah and two 60lb suitcases. And I keep thinking... "Bummer. I lost my keys and I can't get into the storage unit for the suitcases. Bummer. I lost my keys and can't get into the firesafe for the passports. Bummer. I don't have three days of food and water to pack with me. Do I take stuff for Benjamin, too? Do I put Hannah on my back and drag two suitcases and two carseat? I should see if Nicole can help me with Hannah in case I go into labor along the way. What if I end up in Japan and have Benjamin there? Will I have to wait until I get a passport for him before I can continue flying to the state??"

So, I got up to see if there was something on TV to tell me what was up. Nothing. Looked on Fox News and CNN. Nothing on Korea. Better safe than sorry, I took a shower and started looking for my keys. You know, just in case I have to be flown out of here. After getting clean and finding my keys I realized that if this were a "real world" situation, I would have gotten a call to be on alert to pack my bags. So I took a little 20 minute nap before Hannah woke up and the day REALLY started. Oh the adventures that life in Korea provides! HA!

"Benjamin" pictures