Transcending time

I'm sure you have had this experience many times. I know I have. But for some reason it always surprises me when it happens again, as if coming out of the blue. I found a cd with music from the "Breathing Room," which is where the leaders of Generation Church would go before we went out into the craziness of teenage living in order to minister to them on Wednesday nights. Hearing these songs coming out of my computer speakers puts me back in that place, in that time. I'm in a sweater and jeans. I'm skinny--not pregnant! I'm exhausted because it is busy season and I'm praying for energy and an ability to reach the hearts of people who live and have lived such a different life than me. My dear friend Amber is there with me. All of this I know but my eyes are closed as I breath in the music and breath out all of the stress and craziness of my day. You know what the amazing thing is? Music is powerful. The words, the rhythm, the memories, the emotions. But they can't compare to the power of the Holy Spirit in our lives. As much as music can move us and change us, inspire us, take us to other places and times, only the Holy Spirit can reach that part of our being that we barely know exists. I'm glad He uses music to take us to that place at times...

Calling all mothers of sons

As you know, we found out last week that we are having a son--Benjamin Joel. I'm thrilled to have the opportunity to raise both a son and a daughter! I'm stepping into very unfamiliar territory here--I've never been a boy. (he he he) Although being the mother of a daughter was a very scary thought for me, I know much more about girls than boys, so that has given me some comfort. (The reason it was scary for me? I have to teach her how to be a Godly woman! Most of the time I don't even know what that means!!)

So, here is my question, oh mothers of sons--what do you feel your biggest role is in raising your sons? If my biggest role in raising Hannah is to model what a Godly woman looks like so that she has an example to follow, what is my role as a mother of a son? I have some ideas, but I would love to hear from those of you who have been doing it for years!

I love having friends! :)

Encouraging yet frustrating

It has been my experience on my spiritual journey that when I am doing what God wants me to do, and when He has great things in mind, evil is always right there. And with this, I count it pure joy that I'm going through various trials right now. But can I just take a minute and tell you how frustrating it is to have to deal with gossip issues? I feel like I'm in high school! Even in working with the young adults in Montana I never had this problem. And the women involved (of course it is a woman problem!) are almost 30! If someone feels that I'm ignoring them because I haven't called them in the past couple of weeks (everyone knows how much I talk on the phone anyway!) please tell ME instead of calling my friend and starting the conversation with "I really have a problem with ______." And then, if you do have a problem, please accept my invitation to really talk about the problem rather than hiding behind the fact that it is the weekend and the only time you can spend with your husband. Grrrr.

In unrelated insanity news, I have be reading and praying and, to make a long story short, I feel like I need to be keeping up my CPE (Continuing Professional Education) for my CPA license. I have no idea what that will mean apart from now I will be finding time to take classes. It has been quite the journey. I've had very hurtful experiences in the past with Godly women telling me that if I'm too busy that "work" (ie, my job) needed to take a hike. Accounting is part of my very being. It's like telling an artist not to paint. I know, hard to imagine that someone could feel so passionately about accounting. I don't really understand my love of it either. But it's like the runner on Chariots of Fire said "when I run (read: do accounting), I feel God's pleasure." Why would I stop that? Like I said, I have no idea if God will use that outside of my home anytime in the near future. I know that He has an amazing way of using talents and abilities and education that He has given people. I want to be ready to be used by Him in WHATEVER way He sees fit. That's why I woke up at 1:40am yesterday so that I could watch a live webcast from 2-4am to get free CPE credit. (Thank you, Lord for PricewaterhouseCoopers!)

Ok, so that's been my week--how are YOU doing?? :)

the catch-up game

Do you ever feel like you are playing a game where you are always just a shy of finishing something? The dishes, the laundry, the emails, the scrapbooks...the list could include just about anything that you consider necessary for life (ie, the laundry) or important to your purpose in life. In my blogging absence, I've been playing that game. This past weekend I played it for 19 hours. There is a rec room on the first floor of my apartment building. For all you scrapbooking junkies out there, you know how much effort it takes to get out of all your stuff to really, truly scrapbook. And by the time you get it all out and do a two page spread, it is time to clean it up. That's where the rec room came into play. We set up, worked, worked, worked, (and ate and talked and joked and got delirious from lack of sleep) and we accomplished things! I got Hannah's babybook finished. Not a "grand master piece" but a record and history of her first twelve months of life. It is neat to see how much my "scrapbooking technique" have improved with time. I also got over 650 pictures in photo albums with descriptions. So, every picture I have printed out is either in a scrapbook or in a photo album. I can't tell you how good it feels. Maybe you already know. Jeremy has no clue. Men don't have these things like scrapbooking that are innately part of being a dad. But there are a ton for moms. Not that I don't enjoy scrapbooking. I've come to find it enjoyable. But there is this sense of responsbility to "preserve my family memories" that comes with being a mother. And then life happens and the preservation doesn't. For now, mine are preserved. Maybe not to the extent and detail that I would have liked, but why set myself up for unrealistic expectations.

And now I'm exhausted and going to bed. Good thing it is getting dark earlier!