God has been slowly weaning me off of a busy life. The decrease in work and activity from my life in Boston and my life in Montana was very noticable to me. And yet, I was still at a pace that no one should live at for any extended period of time. One of my biggest regrets during that "chapter" of my life was that I did to much, tried to do more than I did, and was guilty about both! (The even bigger regret was that I didn't start backpacking sooner...). Moving to Osan, I tried to guard myself against this busyness of life. I truly did restrain myself in activities that I did and leadership roles I assumed.
Looking at my life over the past couple of months, you would have never guessed this was the case. Everything I am committed to, all of a sudden, got crazy and demanding "for the short term" all at the same time. Plus, Hannah is getting older and demanding more of my time. I have realized a few key lessons. First, I can't commit to so much that I can "handle" everything when everything is "normal." Things don't stay normal for very long. Secondly, what I can do right now I may not be able to continue doing in the short-term future. This is ok. As Hannah continues to grow up, she'll continue to need more of my time and focus. And then there will be more kiddos. Just because I know that more are coming and more energy will be channeled toward them doesn't mean I need to drop everything right now. But it does mean that I need to actively watch my life and cut back as I need to. AND NOT FEEL GUILTY AND UNFAITHFUL WHEN I DO.
It seems like almost every mom around me is busy. "How are you today?" "Oh, busy as usual." I know that even if we as moms weren't involved in anything beyond the upcome of our families and homes, we would have our time filled with something. But, this is not what the answer these moms are giving. They are maxed out. They are collapsing into bed not wanting to close their eyes because they have to open them the next day and continue on the treadmill of life again. I have lived as one of those woman. And now that I'm taking the bold step OFF of the treadmill (I've stepped down from two ministries!), I want to encourage you to do the same. No, I'm not saying that everyone should resign from their responsbilities. But, I do encourage you to list all that you do and pray through each one to make sure that you truly SHOULD be doing all of them.
How is your relationship with the Lord? With your husband? With your kids? Are you spending quality time with all of these people? I hope the answer is a resounding "Yes!" And if not, have no fear--you aren't stuck. You can quit something. It is a Godly, Holy thing to say "no" to even the most urgent things in our lives to focus on what is truly important.
Friday, October 20, 2006
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3 comments:
I completely understand where you are coming from. It has been a struggle for me these last few months where things just start to become busy...and its good to see that you are choosing the path I have chosen. It just takes saying no and relationships start to fall back into where they should be.
I am SO proud of you, Laura Beth!!! I know it's hard for you to let those ministries go, but I know God will bless you for it as well as blessing those who now can step in to fill your shoes. Also, by stepping down you help others avoid the "Well, LB does all those things so I should be doing more" trap. Should we compare ourselves to others like that? No. Do we? Of course. It is wise of you to begin learning this lesson now because you will be learning it again with your children as they get older and start having activities of their own. A friend once told me "good is the enemy of best." There are many activities that are worthwhile, but you really can't do them all, at least not all at the same time. Another thing you may have heard is that BUSY is an acronym for Being Under Satan's Yoke. If you haven't heard the story that goes with that, here's a link:
http://jmm.aaa.net.au/articles/8687.htm
Being B-U-S-Y
Hey LB, this is a big step for you and I'm glad you've taken it. There will always be needs outside of your family, but that should be your number one priority. Recognizing that it's ok to say "no" and not feel guitly is so important. Especially as you add more children. I have also let go a lot of my "hobbies/projects" and try to spend more time just readingl, playing and holding my kids. Not always easy, since we have this need to be like Martha and work, work, work. The pay-off in the end is worth it though. I can usually tell by my kids behavior when i start to slip into busy mode. May God guide you as you strive to find the right balance in your life.
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