Death and Taxes

"But whatever was to my profit I now consider loss for the sake of Christ. What is more, I consider everything a loss compared to the surpassing greatness of knowing Christ Jesus my Lord, for whose sake I have lost all things. I consider them rubbish, that I may gain Christ and be found in him, not having a righteousness of my own that comes from the law, but that which is through faith in Christ—the righteousness that comes from God and is by faith..." Phillipians 3:7-9

In my BC days (before children) I was an accountant. I enjoyed most of my job, but I loved doing taxes. Since moving to Korea and changing occupations (to motherhood) I haven't missed my job very much. But then again, it wasn't tax season. Now that it is tax season, I have been hit by those feelings that I kind of knew would rear their ugly heads but was hoping not to have to deal with. If you have given up something you truly enjoyed doing, you know what I mean. I love my daughter. I am very, very thankful for the opportunity to raise her. But right now I am realizing the dreams I'm sacrificing in obedience to what God has called me to do. I know that I may be able to "go back" to taxes. They aren't going away. I crucified my desire for a professionally successful career when I got married, but that wasn't enough. Now I must go a step further and crucify the possibility of ever doing this thing I loved ever again.

Then I think about death in certain terms. The childhood friend of one of my friends here in Korea died on Saturday. He was 31 years old and his five year old found him "asleep" on the floor in his living room. One day he is a happy father and husband, the next day he is in Heaven. The father of one of the MOPS mentor moms died last week. The 21 month old grandson of a Montana friend died. Death is even more certain than taxes. In light of this eternal perspective, God wants me to count my dreams and pleasure and passions, as good as they may be, as rubbish. He wants me to KNOW him. He wants me to know His power. He wants to impart His righteousness to me. THINK of that! I can have His power and righteousness! In view of eternity, how amazing is this!

Major life transitions are never easy, and I knew this transition in occupations wouldn't be easy. I don't think that being a mom is "better" than being an accountant. God led me to be an accountant for a season. Now He wants me to be a mom. In both situations He wants me to be obedient to the place to which He has called me. I just got attached to where God wanted me before. How I want to have a Philipians 3 mindset!